Seneca was right

Lucius Annaeus Seneca is one of my favourite philosophers. I like the Stoic writers as a whole, and he was one of the greatest. The main competition for the Stoice school was the school of Epicurus. One of Seneca's virtues was that he recognised the greatness of Epicurean thought and quotes from it liberally.

One of Seneca's important creations is a set of 124 letters to Lucilius Junior, which I have been reading while on a visit to an old friend in Israel. At the end of letter 8 Seneca is borrowing from Epicurus, and justifying it by quoting Epicurus in support - the truth belongs to everyone. Then in the next letter he supports Epicurus in his denial of the idea that the wise man is content with himself and needs no friends. Seneca goes on that the Stoic wise man is indeed self-sufficient, but none the less he desires friends. He makes an interesting comparison - a man that has lost a hand learns to do without it, but he'd still prefer to have both hands. In the same way the wise man, being self-sufficient, is able to do without friends, but it is better to have them. In the same letter he says "Great Pleasure is to be found not only in keeping up an old and established friendship but also in beginning and building a new one." And once again he generously quotes Epicurus, who said that he didn't want friends for their support when he was in trouble, but on the contrary, to have someone to support in their troubles. Seneca is talking about real friends, the person one can talk to about anything, or similarly sit with in silence. He distinguishes real friends from the fair weather kind who clamour about successful people. Seneca goes on that friendship is something to be sought out for its own sake, and the self-contented wise man is entitled to persue it.

My visit to Jerusalem has been a great refreshment for me. I've had the opportunity to do new things and to revisit old ones; to enjoy things past once again and to decide to let some things go and move into the future. I've read some new books and revisited some old ones too. All this has been made possible by the generousity of one old friend, and also that of a new one, his wife. I first met Brian at school, rather more than 50 years ago, and we both were members of the same adult chess club. It was there that I realised what an unusual, generously open-minded, person he is.

Chess players are rather apt to be dismissive of people who beat them in a game: "Oh you were just lucky, if I had done this or that you would have been lost". Grandmaster Bent Larsen once said that he had never beaten an opponent who was fully healthy, and very chess player knows what he means. Back in the chess club at Palmers Green I had a game with Brian that I won with an unusual manouvre that the books would say was a bad idea. Maybe it usually is, but not this time. Brian did not resort to the familiar "Oh, I was feeling unwell and had something else on my mind" response. Instead he was eager to go back to the critical position and understand why a move he would not have considered was correct on this occasion. Not at all defensive, he wanted to understand. Typically, Brian has forgotten the incident. I remain impressed, and he hasn't changed.

Being with my old friend (as we are both over 60 I think that's the right term) has been the greatest treasure of my visit. Meeting Maggie and finding her to be of like temperament, and similarly a pleasure to be with, has doubled the benefit. I'd like to think it has been similar for them. I've been made so welcome and felt so at home.

After my heart surgery I resolved to put more time and effort into the things that really matter, the people in my life, and less into other things. Brian and Maggie have helped me recover that resolve, and I shall always be grateful. I have also had the pleasure of taking part in a relaxed and good humoured style of living that I shall try to emulate.

Seneca, and Epicurus, were right. Real friends are a tremendous asset, an extension to life, an enrichment, a treasure to be enjoyed and valued.