I saw a post on Facebook this morning
by a religious bigot arguing that homosexuality is a choice of
lifestyle. A moment's reflection is all that is required to see the
falsity of this view. Since it is one of those posts that I cannot
comment on I'll use my blog to do so instead.
The basic point is simple, one we can
all recognise by simply looking at ourselves and our preferences for
a moment or two. No-one chooses what they like, no-one has any
control over what they are attracted to. I used to prefer red wine.
These days, probably for biological reasons connected with my taking
Allopurinol for a long period, I tend to prefer white. The reds I do
still like, are, annoyingly, very expensive. At that point, but not
before, I seem to have a choice. I look at my financial circumstances
and decide I'd better do without the very expensive reds, and since I
mostly don't like the cheaper ones any more, I buy a bottle of white
that I do like. It used (before I was taking Allopurinol) to be the
other way round – the only whites I liked were the expensive wines
of Chablis, but I was happy to settle for an inexpensive Claret. I
have absolutely no control over this – I put the wine in my mouth,
and I either like it or I don't.
That is the way human beings are. I
happen to be interested in the Hellenistic philosophers, but my
friend finds them boring and loves to rebuild valve radios. These
hold no interest for me, even though I can appreciate the beauty of
his finished work and the skill involved. I'd no more want to do that
than swim with a school of sharks. But there are people who do enjoy
swimming with sharks.
One of my friends is distressed by the
mere thought of eating meat, another finds a vegetarian diet
repulsive. Neither of these is a choice. My vegetarian friend cannot
help her reaction to meat. I am utterly infuriated by the junk on TV
called the Jeremy Kyle Show. I happen to know someone who finds it
interesting, attractive, good entertainment and a perfect way to
relax after a stressful day. While both of us may rationalise what we
call our choices, in neither case is it a choice – we have no
control over whether we like it or not, any more than we can choose
whether we love or hate celery or garlic.
You like to wear red, I prefer greens
and browns. Even if I think you look great in red the idea of wearing
it myself is, well, unthinkable. You may say that you choose red, but
it's a loose use of language – you find red attractive to wear and
have no control over that at all. In exactly the same way I can
choose whether I will visit Rome or Athens – but that I want to
visit both of these cities is not a choice. I can rationalise why I
want to visit them and do not want to visit Washington or Delhi, but
there is no choice involved, it's a want I happen to have, connected
to the interest in the Hellenistic Philosophers that I also happen to
have. I can choose to stop reading their writings (at least I think I
can, but I might get withdrawal symptoms if I do) but I cannot choose
whether or not I am interested.
And in exactly the same way, none of us
choose to whom we are sexually attracted. You might ask your father
why he chose your mother, and he may give you cogent reasons – her
cooking, her laugh, her eyes. But the real reason is that he found
himself to be attracted to her, a fact of life over which he had no
control whatever. He might have been able to choose whether or not he
acted on that attraction, but he could not choose whether he was
attracted or not. Equally we do not choose the gender of the person
to whom we are sexually attracted. My friend Fred is bisexual – but
he is not attracted to all men, or all women. He finds some men and
some women attractive and is currently in a relationship with a
particular individual. This happens to be someone of the opposite
sex, but over the years I have known Fred he has also had long term
and committed relationships with people of the same sex. From my
point of view, I like Fred a lot, he is very good company, and I am
delighted he is happy and in love. Some of his partners over the long
time I have known him I have liked and got on with more than others,
irrespective of their sex. Just as in the rest of life there are
people that I like more, and people that I like less. I choose to
spend time with the former rather than the latter, but which ones I
like is beyond my control. I cannot choose whether I like someone any
more than Fred can choose whether or not he is attracted to them.
To assert that someone's sexuality is a
choice is about as ignorant a thing as I can imagine, because to see
that the truth is otherwise is simply a matter of a moment's
reflection about oneself.
It seems to me the record of priests who are supposed to be celibate shows how difficult it is to direct sexual energies away from the desires you feel, even with the supposed help of the almighty! There has also been rather telling research experiments where those most opposed to homosexuality turn out to be the most stimulated by homo-erotic pornography. I fully support equality for single sex partners.
ReplyDeleteHowever I have to say I find the idea that there are areas we cannot rationally control very disturbing. For one thing as a humanist one is aspiring to live rationally as well as lovingly. Ingersoll used a similar argument to say you cannot 'make yourself' believe in a religion, and therefore demanding faith from people is a pretty immoral thing for a God to do. But how far should the argument that behaviour isn't a choice be taken, e.g. in the field of crime and good citizenship - do we just shrug our shoulders and say we are not responsible for our acts? How does that square with the idea of accepting responsibility for our conduct, rather than thinking we can just ask forgiveness from a God?
"However I have to say I find the idea that there are areas we cannot rationally control very disturbing" Yes, indeed it is, and that's at least part of why it is very hard to get people to think along these lines. I'm only saying here that we can't control what we like - how we act on what we like is a whole different topic. But I personally think that the area we have under rational control might be a lot less than we normally think. You are walking by a railway track and are aware of a train coming. Suddenly you are aware of a child playing in the path of the train. Without a moment's thought to rush forward, grab the child, and drag it to safety with a fraction of a second to spare. Everyone praises you, but you didn't think, or decide, you just acted, you're that kind of person.
ReplyDeleteOf course this raises questions too for criminality and how we treat criminals. I happen to think that the punitive criminal justice system is part of the background that informs the way we act - or at least it is for most people. Does a criminal weigh up the possible penalties and the possible gain from his proposed crime? I don't think so - he just acts, and the rest of us just lock him up.